I have something in my heart Mamai nga I want to share to you.
I have many fears Mamai. I have many anxieties. I am scared if ever all my business ventures will fail. Like you I'm worried that my money is slowly depleting. Like you I’m struggling in my prayer time. I’m struggling in trusting a God that seems quiet and doesn't give any attention to our many needs. I am not only afraid for baby and us, but for your family and mine as well. What if someone in our family gets severely sick? What if there’s a sudden emergency? What will I do? I, too have many questions to our God. WHY CAN"T HE BLESS A HARDWORKING SON LIKE ME? I've tried my best to be a better Christian and an obedient son at the most. WHY? WHY? WHY?
As I cry in my prayer, a deep peace and calmness always touches me Mamai. Setting aside being a Christian; I always find peace inside my heart.
A few weeks ago I realized what that peace is. It's his answers through the Bible.
That God truly loves me. That He hasn't forgotten our pain and our suffering and of course our needs. That one day I will rise from this "fall". That while I am in pain, He too is deeply hurt of what is happening to me. And wants to take away that pain. Yet in His heart He knows that if He takes away this temporary pain, I will never be able to fully serve Him. I will not grow in loving and understanding him a little bit more.
I know it's very difficult to understand or to even see a little glimpse of His "manifestation". But Mamai, if we look a little harder, you know He hasn’t left us at all. When did we ever get hungry? When did we ever feel that His not around? He is always and always will be at our side....
We just need to look harder. For now our problems are in the finances, yet it is still a measure of faith and love. Not because He wants to test us or measure our capacity. It's because His grace is sufficient. He knows we can handle this. He knows we are tougher than this. He knows out of this "mud" and excessive exposure of "fire", the diamond within us will come out. And He is preparing that humongous amount of blessings for us.
Its coming Mamai. I can already see the small clouds in the sky. PREPARE YOURSELF! God will bless us with so much that you can't help but give it all away.
Let's trust our Father that has never left us Mamai. Remember our wedding? You had so many fears. Yet it all came out beautifully and so memorable.
This situation we have right now is no different. We will come out a victor and as more mature Christians ready to take on new gifts and presents from our Father in heaven.
So smile and say, "God is preparing a flood of financial blessing for me. I can already see the small cloud".
I love you so much Mamai and baby. You know I will do everything to give you a better life and of course time to love and care for each other. It will come Mamai.. In Jesus name, amen.
Forever and always,
Daddy Papai
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